1. theaceoffours:

    shrill-ex:

    most of the lights are out in my kitchen so there’s a spotlight on my fridge

    image

    BE…

    OUR…

    GUEST

  2. You see what he has turned me into? You kill him and I will help you destroy a thousand planets.

    (Source: janesfoster)

  3. smartgirlsattheparty:

    zimbolt:

    KILLED IT

    Mic Drop. 

    (Source: beeishappy)

  4. Knock, knock. Who's There? Benedict Cumberbatch
    Cast of "Lewis MacLeod is Not Himself"
    Lewis Macleod is Not Himself S1E01 (Comedy Sketch Show)

    mollydobby:

    An Attempt to Eff the Ineffable - Transcript of “Knock, knock. Who’s There? Benedict Cumberbatch.” from BBC comedy sketch show “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ” S1E01  (x)

    It does a great job with imitating Benedict’s and Martin’s voice and delivery - and its observations are hilariously absurd yet not untrue at the same time. 

    “Ricky Gervais”: [as David Brent] Morning, Tim! Tim Bowler, Timbory-Tim, Timbory, Tim, Timbory Tim, Timboree! What are you doing?

    “Martin”: Oh, er, you know, I’m just, you know, er … gazing despairingly at the camera like a perplexed hamster, as is my duty as the put-upon everyman character.

    “Ricky Gervais”: Well, well, you know, just to whisper in your shell-like [?] *laughs raucously* - the new guy starts today. I said you could show him the ropes.

    “Martin”: Fine, er … when’s he coming?

    “Benedict”: [Sherlock voice] I’ve been observing you from the reception area for the last half an hour. That is to say, I’m already here. Don’t feel bad for not noticing me sooner. When I stand very still and don’t speak, I can easily be mistaken for an incredibly ornate and attractive hat stand. The kind you find in an antique shop that doesn’t have any price tags. Don’t touch - you can’t afford. Hello.

    “Martin”: Good … er … yeah, good gracious. Erm, what are you?

    “Benedict”: My name is long and ridiculous, like my face. They call me Benedict Cumberbatch.

    *fairy tale harp chords* [medieval choral chant] Ben-ne-dict Cum-ber-baaatch!

    “Benedict”: Don’t worry, that always happens.

    “Martin”: Uh, OK, right, yeah. Um, OK, well, so, let’s give you the tour. Well, we’ve got, you know, the photocopier here …

    “Benedict”: Pish, posh, and Duchy biscuits. You don’t think I actually care about your tedious office, do you?

    “Martin”: Well, no, but I sort of imagined you’re here because -

    “Benedict”: Oh, you beautifully obtuse little turnip of a man. I’m here because after Sherlock and the Hobbit, I’m now contractually obliged to appear in everything you ever do, shall do, have done, have so much as considered doing – don’t you understand, we go together like bangers and mash, like cream tea and scones, like a put-upon everyman character actor and a big posh flamboyant manic pixie dream boy with cheekbones you could balance a BAFTA on.

    Is it a man? Is it several hyper-intelligent cats sitting on one another’s shoulders wearing a latex man-suit? Or is it an incredibly sexy horse that’s learned to walk on its hind legs and talk very very very fast?

    “Martin”: Um … sorry, could you repeat all that please?

    “Benedict”: No time, get down with me beneath this desk.

    “Martin”: Why? Is there someone going to try to kill us or something? Or …

    “Benedict”: [dramatic low voice] No, we just need to get uncomfortably close to one other and gaze homoerotically into each other’s eyes. Can you feel the tension? Can you? Can you … do you want to give me a little kiss? Oh you mustn’t - I’m an alabaster Adonis, don’t touch me!

    “Martin”:  Um, yeah, OK.  Erm, bit weird, er … but still, less annoying than that Gervais guy. Erm, look, erm … how much longer is this going to go on for?

    “Benedict”: For the rest of your life.

    “Martin”:  What?

    “Benedict”: Now, if you don’t mind, I have to exit dramatically through a window or something, for no reason other than it looks fantastic. Goodbye for now, put-upon everyman character actor. Remember my name.

    “Martin”: *sighs* Ahhhh - I’ll never forget you, Bumblebee Cuttlefish! 

  5. assortedtrolls:

lohgan:

This sums up my life pretty well

    assortedtrolls:

    lohgan:

    This sums up my life pretty well

    Error

  6. railroadsoftware:

    bro you look so cute right now dude. dude you are so fucking adorable 

  7. Anonymous
    your husband seems like a dick kill him. also does ghosts still exist?

    he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

    i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

    itseasytoremember:

    YOU NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIMS

  8. (Source: tinke-r)

  9. (Source: not-a-bang-a-whimper)

  10. narcotic:

    officialpuppy:

    daisy meeting her new sister for the first time…. I think she likes her

    THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY

  11. midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

    midesko:

    Retail jobs summed up

    (Source: shittyteenblog)

  12. (Source: teen-wolf)

  13. wow-suchbree-veryblog:

    blvckshogun:

    theairtonight:

    venus-meanest:

    pas-une-ange:

    relevant

    People love to forget Michael Jackson’s blackness

    people love to think that Michael Jackson forgot his blackness

    People love to pretend to forget that Michael Jackson’s autopsy results showed that he DID have a skin disease and never “dyed” his skin.

    (Source: -intheround)